We are in such hot pursuit of discovering and receiving all the gifts that this new love has to offer, that we usually miss its greatest gift of all. We are blinded by all of the attention, time, romance, and sexual energy (physical and/or emotional), that we fly right passed it.

Right now you are probably sitting there saying to yourself “There’s something more?”

The answer to this question is at best paradoxical. We must first recognize this paradox, and then we must understand it so that we may transcend it. So are you ready for the big surprise? We are in a relationship to experience ourselves, not someone else. What did he just say? That’s right, you are in a relationship to experience YOU!

Well what the hell does that mean? Hang in there, I’ll tell you. When someone is in pain, though we may feel empathetic, we can not feel their pain. Nor can anyone else feel ours. They may in their own mind relive a past pain in order to feel sympathy, but that is still theirs too, not ours. We can not experience anything from another, only ourselves.

My best example of this is pertaining to what most of us would call a bad relationship. One side does all the giving, while the other side does all the taking. Usually on the side of the giver there is a corner full of council, who by-the-way are quick to point out what a loser the taker is.

STOP!!!

I said it before; we are in relationships to experience ourselves, not someone else!

We can hypothesize all day long about what it is like to be forgiving, understanding, compassionate, loving, and/or unconditional, but at this point it is only a concept—It is not real. The ONLY way we can BE those things is to experience them, not theorize about them. We are Human Beings, not Human Theorizers!

So what if your child/relative/friend wanted to experience them self as being forgiving, for example? What if this was something that made them feel good about them self? The only way to have this feeling is to have the experience. That is why they are in this relationship! And here you were trying to rob them of that—shame on you.

The truth is they could not be in this relationship if it were otherwise. Although it may be unacceptable to you, it is the very thing they need to complete their agenda. This does not make the struggle any more fun to watch or even be in at the time, but as they say in the gym, “pain is just a side effect of growth”. This is true on an emotional level as well.

The only way we can experience BEING nice, is if there are mean people.
The only way we can experience BEING good, is if there are bad people.
The only way we can experience BEING forgiving, is if someone needs to be forgiven.
The only way we can experience BEING Understanding, is if someone needs to be understood.

When you recognize that the purpose for what we call evil, is so that good can exist, you will start to see the perfection of it all. One cannot exist without the other. When you finally GET this, you will cease to be a victim, and will start to see that all relationships are perfect, until they are no longer needed—and then they just disappear.

When you realize that relationships are a place for you to GIVE away who you are, you will not have to look far for a place to do just that. Everyone loves a giver.

It will be in this moment of clarity that you will receive the greatest of all—the purpose of a relationship is that you GET to experience WHO YOU ARE, in a way that is of your own design.

The good news is that now you know. The bad news is you will someday forget. I know I have.

~ Jeffery Alan Read

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We have more conveniences, but less time

More degrees, but less common sense

More experts, & yet more problems

More medicine, but less wellness

Read too little, and watch too much TV

Talk too much, but listen too little

We are quick to anger, but slow to forgive

We preach more about Jesus, but behave less like him

We pray for help, but never stop to listen

Love too little & lie too much

We have learned how to make a living, but not a life

We have added years to life, but have added no life to our years

Buy more, but enjoy less

Conquered outer space, but not inner space

We have learned to split atoms, but not our prejudice

Plan more, but accomplish less

Learned to rush, but not to wait

We have higher incomes, but less morals

We have increased quantity, and reduced quality

Created more kinds of food, but less nutrition

Two incomes, but more divorce

Fancier houses, but more broken homes

We blame others for the vary things we are guilty of (over spending…)

Now please keep in mind that this is in no way a judgment. We are all, or have been at some point, guilty of some of this. The point here is to simply make you aware of where you are in consciousness, and ask yourself if that’s ok with you; and is this the consciousness of a society on the rise, or decline? Furthermore, what action will you take to speed up the process?

Awareness is EVERYTHING, and is key to understanding that every error is an opportunity to BE the change we want to see in the world. 

BE THAT CHANGE…

Well I have asked. In fact, I have spent most of my life asking; time and time again. Not only have I asked, but I have also spent most of my life trying to figure out the answer. In my earlier years I only had vague ideas. Then something happened. One day I realized that I actually had something to say about it; about who I was. From that time till now I have made a conscious decision to intentionally CHOOSE who I was; who I am, what I believed in, what I stood for, and what I was, and am willing to do to stand up for, and defend those beliefs, at any cost. So the short answer is I am who I believe myself to be.

The simple truth is, we are all who we believe ourselves to be, so what’s so ground breaking about this? Nothing, other than the choices I have made about who I am which are deliberate, and intentional. They are based on the things I most value, not just from the people and circumstances life has handed me. Although I am continuing to grow and improve, I am mostly a man of my own design. And though it may be true I cannot be 100% certain of who I will ultimately become, I am certain of who I am not, and who I will not become. I KNOW THIS, because I refuse to let life mold me. I am the creator of my own life, and even though life has at times handed me a bad deal a time or two, I refuse to succumb to its attempts to keep me down.

So now I ask you. Who are you? And who are YOU choosing to be this day forward? Will you continue to be what life has made of you? Or will you instead become the one you ultimately dream of becoming? Life is a do-it-yourself program; or a let everyone else do the programing for you. The choice is yours. And you won’t have to look any further than family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, your doctors, government, and the media and Television to find someone to tell you how you should be running your life. But remember, it is YOUR LIFE. Become the master of your own destiny, and start being conscious of who is really running the show, and the choices you are making.

If there is any area where you are not COMPLETELY fulfilled, I’m here to tell you… Your shit is broke.

What I mean is that the information you are using in that particular area is not serving you very well. Start looking for someone who’s life is operating consistently on a much higher level, and learn what they believe, and start implementing those beliefs in yourself, pronto. At the end of your life, you will thank yourself you did.    

~ Jeffery Alan Read

I have too often seen those who have made a habit out to victimizing others, as to avoid their own pain. Two problems here; one, they are hurting others who more often than not are undeserving of this abuse, and secondly, they never learn to be compassionate, or understanding. Instead they become cold and callused.

Pain makes us vulnerable. It makes us soft. It strips away all the masks. It brings out the best in us. The trick is to find someone who has also learned to grow from their pain, so that they may give us the greatest gift we can receive; the gift of compassion. While more and more of the world is seeking desperately to find justice, the lovers of the world are seeking compassion. While they are seeking retribution, we are seeking forgiveness. I ask you, what would the world benefit more from? What does the world need more of; justice and retribution, or compassion and forgiveness?

We may not be able to save the world in a day, but we can save ourselves by being, and loving only those who also chose to become more from pain, rather than less.

~ Jeffery Alan Read

I would go a step further and say that we could look at a movie of their entire life up until this moment, that is not an accurate description of their life either; not unless their life stopped at this point. This is because there is another dimension that is not being considered; the future. What will this person become as a result of what they perceive the past has made of them? Or what if they decided that it was not the past at all that was responsible for who they have become? What if instead that person was willing to accept that all the perceived pain was just conditioning as preparation for a higher good. Would that make a difference? Ask any Olympic athlete if they have ever fallen or gotten injured. You already know the answer. But did there healing of such an injury only serve to create a more acceptable present? Of course not. It served a much greater good, and a much more fulfilling experience than they ever believed was even possible, even if they imagined a grand experience. Don’t believe me, You Tube gold medal winner interviews. Regardless of how grand the imagining, the life experience is always greater.

So what’s the point? The point is to understand and except that today and every day is just a step that is leading you towards and beyond your dreams and goals, and to not merely be accepting of your present, but rejoice in it, because it is completely necessary for creating the kind of person who is worthy of the fulfillment of these things.

It is an easy habit to try and make sense of things. The problem is we do not have all the evidence to make an accurate judgment. We don’t have the future outcomes, serendipitous events, and divine interventions that will take place in our future to create the whole picture. So in truth we are only wasting our time.

Instead, we should walk in faith and realize there were NO mistakes at all; only preparation for the ultimate masterpiece that is to become our life.

Somewhere there is a mirror walking around waiting to show you your true worth, and importance. But until then, know that you are being molded for greatness, because you are.

~ Jeffery Alan Read

It is difficult to say what might happen in the course of a day that can awaken us to our own beautiful truth; perhaps someone acknowledging something they see in us. Maybe sitting in a restaurant and overhearing a conversation that we needed to hear. Perhaps we find it in the lyrics of a song, or in a movie; or just maybe we find it in a chapter of a good book. It’s hard to say where our awakenings will come from. The key is to ALWAYS remain open, and more importantly to always look for how our own beautiful truth can inspire and bring hope to another.

I commend anyone who is in search of who they REALLY ARE. Too many people make excuses as to why life is doing “it” to them, rather than to ask, “What can I do with this, to make someone’s world a better place?” Too many people are trying to be everything to everyone, and failing miserably, rather than simply being genuine to themselves and being completely fulfilled knowing that they are SOMETHING to SOMEONE.

I think the most important thing to remember is to stay on this beautiful path, stay the course and all you ever dreamed will be yours, and your life will be a bright beacon to follow by those who are coming from where once you came.

~ Jeffery Alan Read